By Wayne William Cipriano
My cousin Billy had a great idea that cannot fail to make him and me (and you if you want to come in with us) fabulously rich. Here is the deal: We are going to get a bunch of rich guys to buy up 51% of General Motors, Inc. (GM) stock for whatever the present owners will take. At the same time, Billy and I will form a Limited Liability Company (LLC) and call it, say, WAYNECO, LLC.
As soon as the 51% of GM is purchased, the rich guys (this could be you) will vote to disband the sitting Board of Directors of GM and replace them with just Billy and me as the Board of Directors.
Next, WAYNECO, LLC (Billy and me) will offer to buy all of GM stock for one buffalo nickel and a cat’s eye marble per share. The Board of Directors of GM (Billy and me) will then accept that offer from WAYNECO, LLC (Billy and me) and own all GM stock for a nickel and a marble per share.
Next, WAYNECO, LLC, will sell off all GM assets, collect all GM debts, locate all GM cash, and it will all be ours!
Next, WAYNECO, LLC will pay the rich guys a “Friend of WAYNECO, LLC” bonus equal to their initial investments plus a tidy 25% profit (sounds pretty good, right?) and we at WAYNECO, LLC (Billy and me) will split what is left.
Imagine, we pay the minority stockholders peanuts (well, nickels and marbles) and they have to take it because the Board of Directors of GM (us) accepted this ludicrously low offer from WAYNECO, LLC (us) to buy GM’s stock. And, it is all perfectly legal… well, pretty legal… well, it will work if no stockholder complains… and if they do, we’ll throw them a few bucks to keep’em quiet, or maybe send out Uncle Dom to make them another type of offer.
Anyway, I don’t see how this can possibly go wrong, can you?
I wonder why hasn’t anyone tried to do something like this before?