By Sue Curry Jones
There is no doubt that nervous tension surrounds the back-to-school frenzy and first day of school. The host of emotions for kids and some parents may range from excitement to anxiety to stress, to worry and dread –– or maybe a mixture of all of the above. But, nonetheless, the first day of school is exciting!
Kids are animated and anxious. Many are happy for the experience, and delighted to see fellow students once again. Other youths may be scared or apprehensive and attempt to run out the door or hold on to Mom’s leg as she leaves the room.
Some little ones may cry, and a few may actually throw-up, but parents need not worry, teachers are prepared.
Parents, on the other hand, may feel anxious about leaving a child at school. However, for others, it may be a welcomed relief.
Parents may also have concerns about the cost of school supplies and the strain placed on their budget – when did school necessities and shoes get to be so pricey?
And, in many households each morning, there is the never-ending competition for the bathroom.
Nonetheless, school has started–– families adapt, and new routines are set, and mixed emotions abound.
For students, the start of a new year is a mysterious, unpredictable quest that promises to be filled with fresh ideas, notions and friendships –– new activities and challenges, different schedules and classes, new teachers, new knowledge and a host of new responsibilities.
The adventure poses a rewarding life activity for teachers, parents, and students –– it is a time to cope anew and good memories are always in the making.
So, in celebration of a fresh new 2011-12 school year, here are a few humorous back-to-school memories –– memoirs provided by teachers from Ava and surrounding schools.
Hopefully, these school day tales will bring a smile to your face, and rekindle memories of your special days in school.
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Several third-grade students were in the classroom studying the large map of the world.
One of the students turned to the teacher and said, “Teacher, I know where Jesus died.”
The teacher walked over to the map and the student pointed to the state of Texas, and said, “Corpus Christ”.
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An elementary teacher walked a group of kindergarten students to the high school gym for an assembly.
Once in the gym, the students were neatly seated in a line across the front section of the bleachers when the teacher noticed one of the students was vigorously chewing a piece of gum, and chewing gum is not allowed.
The teacher approached the student, and asked, “Where did you get the gum?”
The youngster replied “I scraped it off from the under the bleacher seat.”
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Concluding a lesson on verbs, the third grade teacher asked the class “What did you learn today about verbs? Who can explain what a verb does in a sentence?”
A student replied, “You learned us that they show action.”
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After disciplining a second-grade student, the teacher received a note, written in a child’s handwriting. The letter said:
“Did you forget to polish your horns? You have horns holding up your halo.”
(This incident occurred early in the teacher’s career, and she still has this letter.)
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One prospective third-grader, worried about starting school the following week, was crying in the middle of her bedroom floor. After her mother asked about the tears, the child replied “I can’t go to school next week, I can’t do my times.”
Her mother patiently explained that she didn’t need to know her multiplication tables before entering third grade because she would learn the information in the classroom. The mother sat with her daughter and reassured her that she would learn her “times” with all the other students, and eventually the tears subsided and all seemed fine.
However, about 30 minutes later, the mother again found her daughter lying in the middle of her bedroom floor, crying uncontrollably.
Once more the mother asked about the tears, and the daughter replied, “I can’t go to school next week, I can’t do my divides.”
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During the ’58-59 school year, the new Ava industrial arts teacher recalls making preparations for an Industrial Arts Fair in West Plains.
The day before he was to travel to West Plains with all of the student projects, the teacher had gone fishing and caught a mess of fish. After cleaning the fish, he placed all of the fish “guts” in a plastic bag and set them behind the seat of the pick-up truck he would use the following day to take the projects to West Plains. The truck did not have air conditioning.
On his way, the teacher picked up a student to help with the displays.
As they traveled to West Plains and spring temperatures began to grow warmer, both the teacher and student could smell a “foul, fishy” odor, but neither one uttered a word.
The teacher later learned the student thought the bad odor was the teacher’s smelly feet.
And, the teacher –– who had forgotten the fish waste was behind the seat in the truck –– actually thought it was the student.
It was a long time before the truth was actually disclosed.
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Health issues, hygiene and teaching junior high girls about all the responsibilities associated with growing up also included providing information about the opposite sex. Consequently, in a class many years ago, it was explained to the girls that sperm had long tails.
After the session, one young lady, who was known to be very ticklish, came to the teacher’s office, and with a very serious expression on her face asked a question that was truly bothering her.
The young girl had understood everything presented in the lesson, but wanted to know for certain “if when those sperm are swimming, does it tickle?”
The teacher responded with a straight face and a positive answer. Hoping to dissuade the young girl from ever finding out for sure –– at least until she married.
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A teacher was discussing with elementary students the importance of making good choices, and how vital it is to do the right thing, and stay out of trouble. For students to listen to their conscious – that little voice inside that tells if you should or shouldn’t do something.
After putting her thoughts into simple, plain words about how the conscious works as a voice in your head, the teacher saw one little girl on the front row looking serious, and studying the information. The girl looked perplexed.
With a serious voice, and her big eyes looking up at the teacher, she said, “I don’t ever hear those voices”.
The teacher could hardly keep a straight face as she wholeheartedly agreed with the statement, because this little girl was always in trouble.
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A kindergarten teacher recalls that during her first year of teaching, she had in her classroom a short, cute, funny little boy that made quite a lasting impression.
Each morning at the beginning of the hour, the teacher and students would sit in a circle to review the lessons planned for the day, and the day of the month.
This particular morning while everyone was sitting in the circle, this special little boy would get up, drop, and roll on the ground. This action happened several times, and each time the teacher would call his name and ask him to return to his seat in the circle.
But, the action continued, so the teacher finally took the boy aside and asked what was going on.
The boy replied “Grandma found a tick on my peepee and told me not to itch it, so I roll, because it makes me feel better.”
The teacher agreed to let the child roll, but just behind her desk.
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One kindergarten student entered school without knowing how to write his name. However, it wasn’t long before he could write his name, and he was very proud of his new accomplishment.
The teacher soon found he was not only writing his name on his papers, but in his mashed potatoes, tempera paint creations, and every place he could –– including the school hallways.
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Many years ago a fifth-grade student brought tumbler pigeons to school to show to his classmates. It was quite an experience. The student would toss the birds up and they would tumble or somersault back to the ground.
During the demonstration, the teacher asked the young man ‘if he had trained the birds to do this?’
He replied “Oh no, ma’m. They are born with a knack in their head.”
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Substitute teachers may have the biggest challenge of all when they walk into a classroom, and with very little support, they take over a room of students. Students that are most generally looking forward to having a substitute for the day.
And, on occasion, the substitute may learn a lesson as well.
While substitute teaching in first grade, an argument broke out among the young students. The ending result was a short lesson on lying. However, one boy questioned the substitute’s explanation of the matter and of the argument.
So, with great depth, the youth began to relay the differences in lies, and mentioned that at his home they use the color of lies chart, which was explained as follows:
White lies are used to get out of something, but not hurt anyone or anything.
Black lies are intentional and used to get back at others.
Colored lies fall in-between the black and white, and the student gave the following example of a colored lie and how it can be used.
“When you have paid a bill late, and the check is in the mail, this lie is used to convince those you owe money to not to charge late fees or shut off your service.”
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It is always fun to reminisce, and look back and laugh about the things that seemed so vital to us as naive students learning how to maneuver through school and life experiences.
And, these stories are just a small fragment of the whole collection.
For the 2011-12 school year, the staff of the Douglas County Herald sends best wishes to the schools in our community for a successful and fulfilling academic year. May your days ahead teem with achievement, great accomplishment, and a little bit of humor on the side.
Have a great year!
